If you’ve been through a serious breakup and wanted your ex back, you’ve probably wondered if they want you back too. This is natural to wonder, but it’s often difficult to ascertain as you are going through so much emotional turmoil (as are they) that signals can often be confused, misinterpreted, or just plain missed. The fact of the matter that things are so confusing and difficult after a breakup determining if your ex is open to getting back together can actually be rather difficult.
One thing to keep in mind is that your ex may not be sending mixed signals at all – it could all be your changing perspective as you work through emotions like sadness and loneliness that causes your interpretations to change. Despite this, there are a few things you can count on as positive signals that things aren’t actually “getting worse” between the two of you. The first of these is body language. Just pay attention to how they move and behave when you are around. Beyond this, here is a list of some other signs to look for and what they may mean:
- It’s a good sign if your ex suddenly contacts you without you first contacting them. This can show they are thinking about you and maybe even missing you.
- If you happen to be in the same place with your ex and you notice them watching you without wanting you to notice, they may indeed want you back.
- If you noticed they’ve not started dating new people, this may also be a sign they are holding back because they still want to be with you.
- If they are always friendly and react in a positive manner to your attempts at contact, there’s a good sign they are at least open to getting back together.
These are signs – nothing more. There is no “sign” that guarantees your ex wants you back short of them coming out and saying it. At most, these signs may add up to them indeed wanting you back, but at least they may also just indicate they’ve not completely written you off as worthless and are just being friendly so things aren’t awkward. Once you are fairly certain your ex wants you back, you’ll want to hold back a little so they will want you even more. If it’s too easy to get you back, they may lose interest prematurely. Here are some signs to look for that you may be pushing them too far away:
- If you’ve never been contacted by your ex even once and it has been over a year, they have moved on.
- If they are continually dating new people or have actually become involved in a new monogamous relationship, your ex has moved on.
- If they continually ignore you or are out and out rude to you, your ex may not have completely moved on but they are certainly not open to a relationship at this time.
It may seem like this is basic information, but when you are in the middle of a breakup, sometimes the basic easy stuff gets muddled. It’s good to have a reminder that clearly sets out some expectations of your chances of getting back with your ex.
So I think I see some signs he/she is open to it, but what are my real chances of getting my ex back?
Like I said earlier, it’d be great if there was a fool proof way to know if your ex wanted you back or not – like a computer that just took all the variables into consideration and could tell you the exact chances you had. But such a computer does not exist. This is not necessarily a bad thing either.
Why? Well, just think about it – if you knew your chances were really low, wouldn’t that just make you more depressed and discourage you from trying? But then – there is still a chance, so, even though you were depressed, how could you ever move on? Consider the opposite – what if this computer told you that your chances were really high? If after that report you still didn’t end up with your ex, what good did knowing your chances do you? Ultimately these things are best left unknown as this lack of knowledge can properly motivate us to get our exes back and also help us feel better about moving on if we cannot.
Ultimately, you need to decide for yourself what you need to do with your life. You need to not put stock in signs, numbers, or guarantees, but rather your behavior and how you are improving yourself. Even if you never get back with your ex, you have your own life to live and it should be as full and happy as it ever has in the past. Making the proper changes to make yourself more attractive to your ex will make you more attractive to all members of the opposite sex and improve your confidence.
So the best thing to do is try a guide developed to chart your self-improvement and improve your odds at getting back with your ex. There are not computers that solve things, but rather relationship experts with experience in what to do and how to better yourself to get your ex back. Ultimately, don’t focus on whether or not your ex wants you back but on how you can change yourself to help get your ex back.